There was a time when I didn't realize how much stress I was actually carrying.
I functioned.
Continued.
I adapted.
And thought that was normal.
Stress didn't come across loudly.
He came creeping up on you.
In the form of inner restlessness, tension in the body, fatigue,
which did not disappear even after sleep.
I have endured a lot without calling it that.
I didn't allow myself many breaks.
I believed I had to be strong, resilient, and persevere.
That it will get easier eventually if I just keep going.
But the opposite was true.
The stress has made me more withdrawn.
My thoughts became heavier.
My patience is shorter.
My body started to send me signals,
long before I was ready to listen.
Eventually I understood:
Stress doesn't overwhelm you all at once.
It is suffocating if you forget yourself in the process.
Today I see more clearly how much I've been carrying.
And also why it was too much.
Not because I was weak –
but because I wanted to be strong for too long.
This text is not a retrospective full of accusations.
It is an acknowledgment of what was.
And a quiet promise to myself,
to sense it earlier, to slow down earlier,
to stay with me earlier.
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